Last month my husband and I dropped our younger son off at college. Even though he is less than an hour away, I still cried…for days. I was surprised about all the emotions I felt about him going off to college.

I gave myself permission to feel whatever emotions were coming up because I’ve learned that bottling them up only feeds anxiety. Being present with my emotions teaches my body that these feelings are safe with me, no matter how strong or uncomfortable they are. My blog, Embrace Emotions, shares why it’s important to process our emotions in order to heal anxiety.

This past year I’ve done a lot to prepare my son for college both physically and emotionally. I’ve been especially cautious about his transition to college and his mental wellbeing because I had my first bouts of anxiety during college. I’m hoping that if I share with him some of the tools I’ve learned that he’ll have a more enjoyable time and be able to fully focus on his education. 

Protecting our children’s mental health is just as important as safeguarding their physical health. With the right tools and support in place, we can prepare them for college and other major life transitions. Below are some of the ways I’ve helped my son prepare for college physically and emotionally to support his mental health.

Physical Tools

1.     Vitamin Kit

One of the first things I did was start buying my son his own supplements and herbs to take to college. I’m always talking to my kids about the benefits of different vitamins and the correct dosages. During his senior year my son was able to safely give himself the vitamins he needed, allowing him to take the reins on his health. The demands of college classes alone can take a toll on a student’s immune system. Throw in sports and clubs and their immune systems are even more taxed. The right supplements will support and strengthen a student’s immune and endocrine systems, protecting their mental health.

2.     Water Plan

I’m shocked when I think about how little water I drank back when I was in college more than 20 years ago. I didn’t even have a reusable water bottle - no one did. Thank goodness times have changed. Good hydration supports our immune systems by flushing out toxins while simultaneously hydrating our organs so that they can function properly. My son and I came up with a water plan to make sure he’s hydrated. I bought him a couple of BPA free water bottles to tote around campus and a Brita water filter to keep in his minifridge. That way even if he’s filling his Brita filter with water from the bathroom sink, it’s safe to drink because it’s been filtered.

3.     Fruit Plan

Eating fruit and raw honey daily does wonders for our mental health. The glucose that is present in fruit and raw honey fuels our liver and brain and protects our nervous system. The vitamins and minerals in fruit also strengthen our immune system. My son already knows to eat fruit every day, but I gave him some pointers on how to ensure he’s eating them daily on campus. I told him to grab a piece of fruit to take back to his dorm every time he eats at the dining hall. I put extra money on his school ID card so he can buy smoothies on campus. I also bring him some premade smoothies from Trader Joe’s each time we see him to keep in his mini fridge for when he needs them.

4.     Food Plan

I know some fear the “Freshman 15”, but college students need to be encouraged to eat three meals a day and snacks. Eating regular meals fuels our bodies so that our adrenal glands don’t get depleted. Regular meals and snacks help to keep our bodies from producing extra adrenaline which happens when meals are skipped. Adrenaline is more corrosive to our bodies than any other chemical and is especially destructive to our nervous system. As an athlete, my son knows he needs to eat a lot and eat healthy to stay in shape, but he also knows to eat regularly to protect his overall health, including his mental health. Before classes started, I coached him on how to make sure he’s getting enough food throughout his day. I also bought him plenty of healthy snacks to keep in his dorm room.

5.     Exercise Plan

Exercise is important to keep our energy levels up and to feel fresh. Exercise is great for our immune systems and is a great outlet. The endorphins produced when exercising help to combat stress. Even though my son is getting plenty of exercise now, he’ll still need to exercise in the off season.

Emotional Tools

1.     Time Alone

I think most people need alone time every day. In fact, I think it’s healthy to recognize we need it and to prioritize it. Knowing my son was going to have a roommate, we talked about how he could get some alone time. We discussed him going to the library and tucking himself in a corner to read a book, write in his journal, or watch an episode or two of Suits on his computer to decompress by himself. Going for a walk is another good option to get some quiet time. Time alone creates space for us to tune into ourselves, supporting our mental health. Over the years I’ve coached my kids about the importance of alone time and how to recognize when their “social battery” is drained. These are important life skills that teach our kids how to care for themselves and their mental wellbeing.

2.     Support

My son and I discussed how to find opportunities to talk to my husband and me by himself, such as when his roommate is in class or in the shower. We also reassured him that he can call us anytime - if he needs anything or just wants to talk. Just knowing we’re not alone and have support safeguards our mental health.

3.     Energy

Living in a dorm in such close proximity to other students is an adjustment for many college students. The energy is different on a college campus compared to a family home. To help my son adjust to this new energy he brought his favorite book series and a journal for the nights he has trouble falling asleep. He also brought his orgonite and some crystals from home to help clear any lower disruptive energies that could be affecting him. I got him some Rescue Remedy and calming herbal sprays to help cleanse his energy. These types of tools protect our energy and our nervous systems.

4.     Explore

Even though my son is studying chemistry, I encouraged him to have fun with his electives and take classes that interest him. I also told him it was OK to change his mind if he didn’t want to study chemistry anymore. I’ve noticed that my kids have sometimes felt overwhelmed thinking about college because as teenagers they don’t know what they want to do for the rest of their lives. My advice for them is to study what they enjoy, to follow what lights them up. And they’re allowed to change their minds. This takes an enormous amount of stress off them.  

I feel confident that all these tools will help my son not only succeed in college but protect his mental health. He’s certainly more prepared than I was when I was starting college. These are healthy life habits that will help him live his best life beyond college. Most importantly, he knows that he’s loved and supported by all of us at home.

In my last blog, Let Them Be Hound Dogs, I talked about how my family was building a fence in our backyard so that our beagles could have some autonomy and freedom to roam and sniff. Last week my son came home for a short visit. It was his first time home since we finished the fence. One morning while he was at home, we let the dogs out in the backyard to run around. After playing with them for a while my son and I went inside to eat breakfast. He asked me if they were OK outside by themselves out of our sight. After I reassured him they were safe, he said “it’s hard when I can’t see them.” Hearing the irony in his words, I held back my tears and replied, “Yes, it is.”

Look for my book Bold Trust – 6 Steps to Unravel the Long-Term Effects of Gaslighting, Unapologetically Trust Yourself, and Heal Anxiety which will be available this fall.