Anxiety Versus Stress

In the realm of mental health awareness, my biggest pet peeve is when I see the words anxiety and stress used interchangeably. This really pisses me off! Those of us who have or have had anxiety in the past know that anxiety and stress are not one and the same. Although they have some similarities, they are very different. The suggestion that anxiety and stress are the same invalidates and gaslights people who have anxiety conditions. This adds more fuel to the mental health stigma and creates further confusion for those who are dealing with anxiety. Stress is not something to be taken lightly and can severely impact our health, but it’s important to separate anxiety from stress so that those who have anxiety feel seen and heard and can get the help and healing they need.

Difference Between Stress and Anxiety

Dictionary.com defines stress as “physical, mental, or emotional strain or tension.” Dictionary.com also defines anxiety as “distress or uneasiness of mind caused by fear of danger or misfortune.” Based on these two definitions of stress and anxiety, stress comes across as mild compared to anxiety. The American Psychological Association (APA) gives a more complete and thorough definition of anxiety stating it is “an emotion characterized by feelings of tension, worried thoughts and physical changes like increased blood pressure.” The APA further dissects anxiety saying “People with anxiety disorders usually have recurring intrusive thoughts or concerns. They may avoid certain situations out of worry. They may also have physical symptoms such as sweating, trembling, dizziness, or a rapid heartbeat.”

These definitions make it clear that both stress and anxiety affect us mentally, emotionally, and physically. However, it’s important to note that the fallout from anxiety affects us more intensely than stress alone. The long-term effects of stress can certainly take a toll on our health, but the effects from anxiety are immediate and severe, impacting our daily lives. Anxiety is paralyzing fear that alters our daily actions and affects the way we live.  Anxiety rattles our whole body and alters our psyche. Most of you reading this understand what anxiety feels like and can attest that it is very different from stress.  

Stress can contribute to anxiety, worsening anxiety symptoms but it’s important to know that they’re different. A significant amount of stress can eventually run down your nervous and immune systems exacerbating anxiety. Stress is largely influenced by external circumstances whereas anxiety mostly originates from emotional or physical trauma. Playing down the experience of anxiety is dangerous because it invalidates people with this mental health condition and incapacitates us from getting the help we need.

Gaslighting and Invalidation

The notion that our anxiety is like stress is gaslighting those who have an anxiety condition. The underlying message is that our anxiety is the outcome of extrinsic pressures instead of the result of trauma, abuse, or neglect. This message gaslights us into questioning our reality and our own true experience with anxiety. It’s trying to create our narrative, telling us what our experiences with anxiety “should” be like. That if we learn how to properly manage our stress our anxiety would abate. The truth is that our anxiety goes much deeper than our daily stressors. As I mentioned above, we experience paralyzing fear that interrupts our everyday lives.  

Stress and anxiety used interchangeably also invalidates people who have anxiety. Liking anxiety to stress not only gaslights us into believing that our experience with anxiety should feel like stress but it also invalidates our own anxiety experiences when it feels worse than stress alone. Gaslighting and invalidation shuts down our intuition and causes us to question our own experiences.

No two people experience anxiety the same way – it is different for each of us. Therefore, it’s insensitive to wrongfully assume that anxiety and stress are the same. Some of us with debilitating anxiety have difficulty just leaving our house without having paralyzing fear take over our bodies. This is entirely different from stress alone. Many of us would swipe out our anxiety for stress in a heartbeat if we could.

Those of us with anxiety need to feel safe to honestly express our experiences and have them validated. We can no longer be gaslighted and denied of our feelings. Downplaying our feelings and experiences significantly contributes to the mental health stigma.

Mental Health Stigma

Many of us the with anxiety already carry a lot of shame for just having anxiety and not feeling “normal.” Grouping anxiety and stress together compounds our feelings of shame. When our experience with anxiety is more intense and harsher than stress, we feel shame because our experiences are not in alignment with this narrative. My blog, Releasing Shame, goes into more depth about the mental health stigma and shame.

Saying anxiety and stress are the same also creates confusion for those of us with anxiety. We’re confused when our reality with anxiety is much different from the perception that it should just feel like stress. We get frustrated when stress management tools by themselves don’t help us. It’s confusing when our full-blown anxiety attack is dismissed as stress. I feel certain that those who are grouping anxiety and stress together have never experienced actual anxiety themselves.

The invalidation and gaslighting that comes from the assumption that stress and anxiety are one and the same shuts down open and safe discussions about mental health. Open and honest communication is needed for people to get the much-needed help and support they need to heal. Talking about mental health and anxiety helps to release the shame and create a safe environment for people to share their own experiences.

Anxiety and stress and are like distant cousins – there’s an indirect link grouping them together, but they’re essentially from different families. Using anxiety and stress interchangeably is insensitive and disrespectful to those of us with anxiety and it needs to stop. Those of us with anxiety cannot be further gaslighted and invalidated about what we’re experiencing in our bodies and minds. Our shame cannot be perpetuated for a condition that’s not our fault to begin with. To help eliminate the mental health stigma we must be aware of the words we use and be conscious of the effects our words have on others. While anxiety and stress are related by some of their symptoms, they are very different in their short-term and long-term effects.